


More Than Friends, Less Than Lovers

by StoryTellerOfLunchTime (Cooem)



Series: Modern AU Childhood Friends [2]
Category: Tales of Zestiria
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - High School, Growing Up, Immaturity, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, slow burn smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-13
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-04 14:06:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10280354
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cooem/pseuds/StoryTellerOfLunchTime
Summary: A lot of SorMik AU fics imagine a slow burn situation where they start off as strangers. I'd like to think it's actually far harder to slow burn if they were already life long best friends engaged in teenaged intimacies. Mild teenage emotional hurt, lots of comfort, don't worry.





	1. September

**Author's Note:**

> Chapters 1-10 is "Phase One" of this fanfic. It closely follows the thoughts of Mikleo as he deals with the fallout of an unrequited love.
> 
> Chapters 10+ is Phase Two, and follows mainly Sorey's emotional journey of growth instead. There will be more of our favourite supporting characters in this phase.

### September

Mikleo has one more school year to tell his childhood friend Sorey how he feels. He’s a confident over-achiever in every area of life except one, and he’s about to fix that one too. Here he goes. This will be it. 

“Sorey. I know I’m graduating first this year. But I want to keep walking you to school like this. This time we share together when it’s just the two of us….it’s my treasure. I don’t want it to end.”

A somewhat tired smile wasn’t what Mikleo was expecting. 

“Mikleo...I’m glad you feel you need to watch out for me. But you take so long to get ready in the morning. I was looking forward to finally getting into class early for my last year.”

> `[Sorey 1 / Mikleo 0]`


	2. October

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikleo attempts to seduce Sorey with a Halloween costume

### October

Maybe last time the timing wasn’t correct. Sorey is so hyperactive and energetic about everything, he has trouble going to sleep at night (followed by dead sleep once he truly runs out of steam). As a result, he’s usually ~~less sharp~~ dumber than usual in the morning. 

Mikleo has been dropping hints about Halloween for weeks. More than hints, because Sorey is oblivious. He’s told Sorey that he wants to not go the gore or over the top humour route this year. Mikleo explained clearly he wants to wear something cute, and something dashing for Sorey. Mikleo wants something out of a fantasy, the kind of story that endures for all time. Mikleo gives Sorey permission to pick something, even if it’s a little embarrassing. For this to work, Mikleo wants Sorey to awaken to his own feelings as well. If he outright demands Sorey dress up as a groom and become a bride himself, it would only be funny to Sorey. Maybe looking at catalogs for slutty costumes, imagining Mikleo in them, would finally do the trick. 

“Mikleo, I’ve finally decided on what we should wear for Halloween, but I need your approval first.” Sorey has a determined look on his face, like he’s about to ask something important that he fears might not be reciprocated.

Mikleo can hear his own heart beat. This is the perfect time. 

“We go as a pair every year.” Mikleo says as he looks deeply into Sorey’s emerald coloured eyes, “This year, and every year to come, I want to keep doing that with you, as a couple...”

“GREAT! I didn’t think you liked our Thing 1 Thing 2 costumes too much last year, you seemed kind of disappointed. Anyway I already bought us new costumes! You’ll be wearing something cute this time I promise! This year you’ll be Tinkerbell to my Peter Pan! Because you’re so tiny and light and I can throw you around while I dash everywhere waving a sword! Hahahaha!”

[Sorey 2 / Mikleo 0]


	3. November

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikleo writes a love letter to Sorey

### November

Maybe having it in writing would be better. Mikleo gets too nervous in person and he never gets the words out properly. Sorey is a manic bundle of energy and far too easily distracted, and that ruins the mood. Writing a love letter suits the delicate, introverted boy more anyway.

He pours his heart out and makes sure to be as blunt as possible so that even Sorey will get it right this time. It takes Mikleo a few weeks, editing and re-editing. It also takes a very long time because Mikleo and Sorey spend so much time together, it's near impossible to get any time alone to work on it in secret. 

It’s finally done. He’ll give it to Sorey after school when the mood seems right. Mikleo hasn’t been able to think clearly because he stayed up so late every night writing this.

Sorey cleans up after breakfast while Mikleo puts his legs up on the table to relax. Sorey brings Mikleo a hot cup of herbal tea with fragrant roses inside. As he sips tea watching Sorey work, Mikleo remembers something important. Edna, family friend of Sorey and Mikleo’s guardian, will be visiting them again soon. Remembering Edna with her smirk of pure black mischief, Mikleo freezes in his tracks. That’s right. Writing a love confession letter to Sorey was doomed to fail from the very start.

Every time Edna is in town, she pretends to be the mature dependable aunt who is willing to give Sorey life advice on everything, especially love. She would find ways to trick Sorey into showing her text logs and notes from Sorey’s many admirers, for her own amusement. A love letter would definitely be shared with Edna. If it doesn’t go well, Mikleo will never, ever see the end of Edna’s teasing. No, scratch that. Even if it does go swimmingly well, his letter will be tricked out of Sorey’s hands somehow and read aloud at their wedding. 

There’s no use trying to save innocent Sorey from Edna’s cunning manipulation either. Mikleo knows full well because he’s been helping Edna. It’s been satisfying to see Edna derive pleasure from torturing someone else for a change. Mikleo must also admit he wants to see those boys and girls who flock to Sorey ridiculed a little as well. Edna would pretend to give Sorey good advice, and Mikleo will helpfully set Sorey up with the admirer on a sort of 3-way date. The promise is that Mikleo will leave the admirer with Sorey once the date gets going. In reality, Sorey will usually flat out say something like, “I’m sorry I was hoping to go see a movie with just Mikleo”, or, “I’m sorry, it just wouldn’t be fun without Mikleo”. The admirer might cry, or might want to fight Mikleo. But one way or another once they come to see how impossible it would be, they usually thank Mikleo for his help, and leave the two of them alone for the rest of the date. Those poor dears. Everyone at school totally buys into Mikleo’s haughty attitude, fierce competitiveness, and frequent eye rolls at Sorey, and no one suspects his true feelings.

Sorey has no idea Mikleo has been working in the background to keep the most adorable boy in school single forever. 

Oh, wait, that’s right. The rouse is so successful even Sorey doesn’t realise. Frelling dren.

Cosmic karma is a bitch. 

Mikleo burns his letter. 

[Sorey 3 / Mikleo -1]


	4. December

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Mikleo has no time to seduce Sorey

### December

Edna is staying over. So is Zaveid. The house is filled to the brim with rowdy drunks and all plans are stalled. 

Mikleo and Sorey’s living arrangements are quite complicated and unusual. Their circumstance from birth is the main factor in their currently complicated and unusual relationship. 

Mikleo’s and Sorey’s mothers were best friends who worked as fashion models for the Camlann brand. On New Year’s Eve, when Mikleo was 6 months old, Muse’s brother Michael was driving Selene, Muse and Mikleo in the snow, back from a party, when a drunk driver T-boned their car from the driver’s side. Michael was killed on the spot, and Muse, who sat behind him, died from injuries a few days later. Mikleo, in a car seat on the rear passenger side, recovered quickly. Selene, in the front passenger seat, was pregnant with Sorey at the time. Her injuries weren’t severe, but the trauma induced premature labour. The doctors were able to save Sorey, born far too early, but they couldn’t save the already far too frail Selene from the complications of traumatic emergency c-section. 

Since then, Mikleo and Sorey had been raised in the countryside, in the tiny village of Elysia, by Mikleo’s grandfather, and his whole village. When the boys were old enough to enter middle school, they moved back to Ladylake City, into Selene and Muse’s old house there. It was a tearful goodbye, but Gramps was getting advanced in age, and the boys needed to see the world. Lailah, who was Michael’s agent, took over as guardian. The three of them have been living together in the same house for the past 5 years. 

Lailah, having retired from the fashion world, is now a late night radio personality who is very popular for her bubbly nature and eccentricities. Her penchant for bad puns and general adorable loopiness plays off really well against her co worker, Zaveid, another ex-model who has a deep sensuous voice and supplies more than enough innuendoes and flat out scandalous frell to keep the wee hours of the night interesting. Another of the duo’s claim to fame is their “Love Advice Corner”, where young confused callers can ask questions and receive a mix of good motherly advice (mainly Lailah) and “what not to do” (mainly Zaveid).

This explains why Sorey and Mikleo’s living room wall is a 12’ mural of a half naked man. Because this was a perfume ad which also features Muse and Selene, nobody had the heart to change it or even to cover up Zaveid’s tattooed body. Besides, Zaveid stays over so often that he’d just uncover his shrine again anyway. Whenever Edna comes by to rest in between her tours, she threatens to take it down. But of course she never does, because of Selene and Muse. And, because her living room also has a giant mural of another man. 

It’s a noisy home, but it’s a loving home. Sorey and Mikleo are deeply grateful to Lailah, who quit her day job to take care of them. Working the graveyard shift must be hard, but Lailah never once complained, as if she’s sworn an oath to never unburden her own problems onto the boys.

Lailah’s night time job also means Mikleo and Sorey are left unsupervised at home alone, most nights.

The whole gang gathers every Christmas holiday season, to celebrate Sorey’s birthday, as well as to hold a memorial for their lost friends. Both Sorey and Mikleo are now 18 years old. 

[Winter Intermission. Score keeping no longer possible.]


	5. January

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which seduction seems to have occurred, but not the right kind

### January

Mikleo is beginning to lose hope. Even a boy as oblivious as Sorey must have realised it by now. 

Time is slipping by quickly. It’s the new year already. 

Mikleo had been content with their relaxed pace and perfectly in tuned lives up until this last year at home. Mikleo is only 6 months older, but being a calendar year ahead means he will graduate in June, and move out to the university dormitory in September. The two of them have until this September, then they will separate for at least one entire year. And that’s assuming Sorey will attend the same university. 

Sorey doesn’t seem to be concerned that time is running out on their lives of living together. He probably doesn’t realise that normally people don’t have this kind of intimacy and access to one another. He probably doesn’t realise this is the end of an era for good. 

Sorey’s singleness is usually understood as a function of his shining purity and innocence. While it is true that Sorey is a model of purity and innocence, it’s not for the reasons others assume. As a healthy teenaged male, Sorey’s body has the same needs as anyone else’s. But while mere mortals get corrupted by the images they view and the media they consume, and are led down a dark path of sensuality into desire, all that kind of stuff just seems to effortlessly and totally roll off of Sorey’s back. Sorey’s purity does not stem from naivete and ignorance. Sorey’s sexual needs are periodic, straightforward, and it seems, merely physical. Once he’s done, he’s done, and he doesn’t spend any thoughts on the matter again for a while. Mikleo understands these cycles are internally timed for Sorey, completely unrelated to what Sorey sees or hears or watches. Or touches. 

Sorey doesn’t care for pornography, and never seeks it out. Mikleo is sure of it. The rare times when he had been inadvertently exposed, it usually takes a few seconds for Sorey to register, then he would either lose interest and walk away, or unblushingly interpret it in totally innocent ways. He would, with total sincerity, say things like “that’s pretty bad acting”, or “the water looks too cold to swim in”, or, far more frequently, comment on the art of producing pornographic films instead. Sorey is a film nut, and can go on and on about lighting and sets and _mise en scène_ about even the smuttiest dren. 

When pressed, Sorey has the following to say about why he seems so immune to lust.

“I prefer some kind of actual connection first, I think. Otherwise it’s kind of empty, isn’t it?” He pauses briefly and wonders if he saw a wounded look flash across Mikleo’s lavender colored eyes. “And anyway I prefer to touch rather than to watch.” Sorey has that look on his face again, the closest thing to hunger Mikleo knows.

With that, Sorey launches into a tickle fight with Mikleo. Mikleo has the upper hand until Sorey roars and pushes Mikleo onto the bed to continue his assault using his body size and height advantage. Mikleo squirms and laughs helplessly under Sorey’s body until he cries.

[Scoring no longer matters. It’s clear Mikleo can only lose.]


	6. February

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Sorey's Gentleness Isn't Enough

### February

Valentine’s Day. 

Milkeo and Sorey are part of the School Committee. Weeks prior, they sold vouchers to students who want to send roses to other students. Today, these “flower grams” are sent to the classrooms of the recipients during the last hour of class. Some customers are obviously already dating, and it’s just very sweet. It’s also a modern, cute way of playing Cupid for those too shy to say anything in person. It’s apparently also an excuse for many girls to order roses to themselves, so they can squeal with delight and take selfies with Sorey when he delivers them. Every year, they make a lot of money for the local kitten shelter this way. 

A few days ago, Mikleo even found one addressed to him, to his surprise. Discreetly, he went to the boy, thanked him, and said he doesn’t have a rose for him in return. “I gave mine away already, a long time ago. I’m sorry.” He smiled sadly, and said thank you again.

As for Sorey and Mikleo, the lines are now so blurred Mikleo has no idea how to proceed with confessing his feelings anymore. How does one begin to date someone they already share a bed with? How do you work out a relationship where you’re so close to him that when you close your eyes you can feel his lips on your skin but you’ve never held his hand? When can Mikleo find satisfaction from Sorey’s lips upon his own lips as well?

Mikleo goes back and forth on whether to give Sorey a rose. He holds onto his own rose until everything else had been delivered. Seeing the way the girls fuss over Sorey, and his golden sunshine as he thoughtlessly indulges them, Mikleo can’t go through with it, and lies that it is for himself. 

For most boys and girls who don’t receive the results they hope for on Valentine’s Day, they can go home and lick their wounds. For Mikleo, who shares adjacent bedrooms with his crush, there’s no such luxury of licking his own wounds. 

Lailah offers to stay home that night. Mikleo says that’s nonsense, work is important, and assures her he will be able to handle himself. Lailah gives Mikleo a meaningful look, a hug, and leaves for work. 

It’s a Friday night and they don’t need a lot of rest. Sorey wants to try something.

Mikleo trusts Sorey with his life, perhaps against better judgement. The bigger boy might be all muscle, but he’s surprisingly gentle, especially when it comes to Mikleo. He doesn’t give Mikleo enough credit, though. He’s thin, sure, but has perfect control and balance, and is very flexible to boot. They’re both very good to each other, and that turns everything that might be bad into something good instead. 

Mikleo’s mind wanders. Cliche expressions come to him one after another like a SAT vocabulary flip book: give and take, push and pull; roving clouds and flowing water; physical pleasure and emotional pain; the feeling of being fulfilled as well as the emptiness after; the ease of coming together and the heaviness of pulling away; the euphoria of levity coupled with the slight panic of being carried off by rip tides; an urgency that digs in one’s soul contrasting with the tenderness of feathers against heated skin.

Later that night, he waits till Sorey is dead asleep from exhaustion. He leaves the bed, and calls Lailah’s radio station. The operator knows his voice, and allows him to pick the next song to play. Mikleo requests Aqua’s Aquarius.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For those of you who've never heard this masterpiece.   
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_0hTk-5t2Hs


	7. March

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In Which Mikleo Takes A Short Vacation From Forlorn Love

### March

March break. Sorey and Mikleo are camping in Aroundight Forest. 

Since the boys moved from the country to the city, there have been many times they miss the greenery, the smell of fresh pine and the open sky. Even though Sorey drives 3 hours out of the city like a grown up, and Mikleo makes packed lunches, a beautiful grilled dinner and hot beverages like a grown up, as soon as they arrive, it’s like they both returned to the time when they were mere children. They spend the entire day kicking water at each other in the refreshing stream, looking for tadpoles, having a race to see who can gather the most perfect or biggest pine cones, and who can swing the highest or jump the longest or hold his breath the longest. 

Sorey hasn’t seen Mikleo brighten up like this for a while. Maybe it’s exam time stress, even though Mikleo has already received unconditional acceptance at the university. Maybe it’s the city, even though Mikleo always makes fun of small towns now that he considers himself a sophisticated city slicker. 

Mikleo notices that he’s smiling more, taking deeper breaths, and running around with more abandon. Must be that wonderfully refreshing nap in the car while Sorey was driving. Or it could be that he’s honestly missed this easy companionship very very much. It is a comforting reaffirmation that Sorey and himself are in fact very very good friends, from way way long ago. No matter what happens after this year, they will always have a special connection, deeper than brothers, and truer than love. It almost feels petty now to obsess over romantic feelings when he’s got something far better the entire time. A bit of open space and some distance brings some closure to Mikleo’s unrequited love. 

While stretched out under a tree, watching Sorey set up the tent, Mikleo promises he will come back next year to go camping with Sorey again. And he means it. Mikleo feels like a new man who is ready for anything, include embracing his past. Soon to be past anyway, with Sorey: already he can imagine all this as only a bittersweet memory of reckless youth.

Sorey is doting on him, and he knows it. He loves it when he’s being pampered like this. Cold drink in hand, Sorey;s sleeping bag as a foot rest, comfortable in the shade playing on his phone, he glances occasionally at Sorey sweat in the sun for his benefit, with a smug fondness. He slings some more taunts at Sorey as he puts their tent together. Sorey beams his bright smile and hurls tent pegs at Mikleo. Then he has to walk over to retrieve them like an idiot. Mikleo hides one under the sleeping bag and watches Sorey search fruitlessly for a while. Yup, whatever scraps the next guy gets, Mikleo's already had the best. Sorey will fall in love with some poor sod, but this core part of Sorey who lives to serve Mikleo will always belong to Mikleo alone. 

As night falls and the stars appear, they settle into their sleeping bags with their faces sticking out of the tent to watch the stars. Mikleo is getting arrogant. He takes one slender leg out from the side of his sleeping bag, and slings it across onto Sorey. 

Sorey smiles his brilliant smile that shines brighter than the milky way above. He picks up Mikleo’s foot, and begins to massage it gently. He says he had a thought the other day when he was listening to music, that the Coldplay song “Yellow” makes no sense. What is a yellow and why make a song about a colour? Then it occurs to Sorey that the song is about Mikleo. He sings a stanza to Mikleo, a capella. 

> Look at the stars  
>  Look how they shine for you  
>  And everything they do  
>  Yeah they are all Mikleo

They laugh into a heap together over the silliness. Then they had a good time seeing who can kick the other harder from inside the sleeping bag, and who flinches first. At some point Sorey farts into his sleeping bag and starts to wrestle Mikleo to stuff his head into the Dutch Oven. Mikleo, not wanting fart in his perfect hair, grapples Sorey until he submits and complains of a sore shoulder blade. Mikleo walks back and forth over Sorey’s back, putting only some of his weight on him of course, as a massage. Sorey does the spinal realignment thing for Mikleo, where they stand and Mikleo drapes his arms around Sorey’s shoulders, and Sorey stands up taller, letting gravity “pop” Mikleo’s sore back back into alignment. Then of course there were more tickle fights, and Sorey putting Mikleo in a head lock into his sweaty unshowered armpit. 

When they finally settle down a little again, Sorey scoots his sleeping bag behind Mikleo’s in a swaddled spooning position. They’ve been far closer physically before, but somehow Mikleo feels more naked here.

“Hey Sorey, have you ever been in love with anyone?”

“I’m in love with you aren’t I? Haha!” Sorey kicks Mikleo in jest, through the sleeping bag.

“Not like that, you dope.” Sharp playful elbow back into Sorey’s gut.

“I don’t know," He answered quickly and nonchalantly, "Don't need it." And there we have it. Sorey doesn’t need romance because all his needs are already met. Mikleo knew that, and he’s okay with it. He congratulates himself on asking the question being okay with the answer. He’s maturing, surely, and this is part of growing up. 

Mikleo is falling asleep. He has no idea if Sorey thinks he’s awake, so this next part of the song was meant for him, or if Sorey thinks he’s asleep and he’s absentmindedly singing to the open night sky. Sorey continues his serenade:

> Your skin  
>  Oh yeah your skin and bones  
>  Turning to something beautiful  
>  Do you know  
>  You know i love you so  
>  You know i love you so

Mikleo managed a weak “what?” that came out sounding more like a sleepy squeak.

Sorey pulls his arms out of the sleeping bag to hug Mikleo’s bundle and says “Thank you for everything, Mikleo. Don’t worry, I won’t breathe a word to your future boyfriends and girlfriends. I understand it’s not like that.” 

And with that, the spell breaks. Mikleo has been lying to himself. He doesn't want Sorey in the past, he doesn’t want him to fall in love with anyone else, and he doesn’t want “this” to be “not like that”. He very much wants this to be _exactly_ all like that. 

He wasn’t wrong when he realised he will be okay without Sorey. He will. He’s a capable, intelligent creature and he will be okay. But now that he has experience feeling okay with never being lovers with Sorey, he doesn’t want to be okay. He wants to continue being devastated, and he wants to continue pining for what he can have freely in spades. He’s in love with being in love: the bitterness, the brooding hurt, and the pettiness of holding onto every tiny success that all amount to nothing. He will miss this, and it’s not time to let go yet. 

Once he hears Sorey’s snoring, Mikleo puts on his headphones and plays “Silent All These Years” by Tori Amos on loop. Then he cries himself to sleep mouthing the lyrics on his silent lips, savouring every sweet teardrop that falls:

> Hey but  
>  What if I’m a mermaid  
>  In these jeans of yours  
>  With your name still on on it  
>  Hey but I don’t care  
>  Cuz sometimes, I said sometimes I hear my voice and it’s been  
>  Here…..silent all these years….silent all these…
> 
> Years go by  
>  Will I still be waiting for somebody else to understand  
>  Years go by  
>  If I’m stripped of my beauty and the orange clouds raining in my head  
>  Years go by  
>  Will i choke on my tears till finally there’s nothing left  
>  One more casualty  
>  You know, we’re too easy….easy…easy


	8. April

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikleo no longer expects success, but still suffers at failures

### April

Grad dance is happening next month. Since Sorey isn’t in the same grade and won’t be coming. Hormones are flooding the school population; every corner you turn you see boys and girls asking each other out. Romantic and sexual tensions run high.

Not that it affects Sorey. Sorey is very good at making snap decisions. Once he finds an answer that seems okay, he can quickly latch onto it, justifying it as the perfectly reasonably course of action, and then never giving it a second thought. He expresses his emotions physically and outwardly, wearing his heart on a sleeve, but at the same time cannot seem to process reactions of others towards him correctly. For example, he justifies to himself that his admirers asking him to the dance are just experiencing a flush of hormones, an infatuation with no basis for actual relationship potential. His conscience remains clear after rejecting them, simply because he assumes if he’s not too bothered by it, they must be able to get over it as easily as well.

Sorey’s affection for his friends is intense. When he looks your way, It's like a bright beam of personal sunshine. However, he has also earned himself a reputation for friend zoning even just friends. Boys and girls who get caught up in this illusion of intimacy burn hard: they fly over the moon initially when they think they got somewhere with Sorey very quickly, but just as quickly they find themselves as just another friend as Sorey’s attention wanes. A special kind of “right outside the door that never opens” cold hell awaits them. Mikleo has seen this cycle happen countless times, but he couldn't believe he himself fell prey to its trap. 

Mikleo is defeated and resigned at this point, and devotes more and more of his time trying to give up on Sorey. He tells himself he’s easing himself off of his addiction of choice. Following the harm reduction model of narcotics recovery, it’s important not to go cold turkey and suffer painful, mind breaking withdrawals. He’s going to make some good memories he can treasure for the rest of his life. Mikleo worked up the courage to ask Sorey to come to grad dance as his partner. 

Sorey thanks Mikleo profoundly for asking him to the dance. He’s been hounded by upperclassmen, and this should put an end to it. “You really saved me! You’re the best, Mikleo! Think you can come back and go to the dance with me again next year?” 

MIkleo finds himself on the same side of that closed door. It’s a very cold hell.


	9. Stalemate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Stalemate. In which nothing happens. Skip to the next chapter for smut if you prefer. Sorry I held out so long.

Graduation is approaching fast. Mikleo is class valedictorian, obviously. As a studious, introverted boy, Mikleo has always excelled in his classes with effortless grace. Understanding comes to him naturally, as well as an uncanny ability to predict questions on exams. When asked, Mikleo would say his true blessing is laser focus: he can sit down and stay on task for hours and hours, needing neither food nor drink breaks. Not that he eats much anyway. He takes a lot of pride in his academic successes, and confident to the point of arrogance over his personal achievements. 

It’s not simply academics either. Mikleo has a reputation for being sensitive and delicate, and very fun to fluster and tease. He successfully navigated the muddy waters of Teenage High School Drama by playing into that stereotype, and turning would be bullies into his staunchest defenders instead. He’s a gentle and willing listener to all the kids who come to him for advice and comfort, seeming way more mature than the rest in a cutely smug way no one minds. Because Mikleo’s appearance doesn't intimidate anyone, his social intelligence and tight lips make him an easy confidant to confess to.

Sorey is intelligent as well, but in a very different way. Sorey has a very hard time focusing and sitting still. If he hears any noises in the house, he’d hop up to investigate and get sidetracked from his work. Countless times, he would forget a deadline and have to pull all nighters. Sorey is no stranger to begging for extensions. Many times, even when he’s finally completed an essay or assignment, he would forget to bring it to school. Mikleo is his life line this way: he would check with Sorey every morning to remind him what to bring. 

Sorey can be a bit of a hot mess, but Mikleo is also quite jealous of his strengths. Sorey has such a keen eye for details that his memory is almost photographic. He just simply “groks” things on an instinctive level, takes a mile high bird’s eye view at a problem, and is then able to combine a million factors into one solution in a highly insightful fashion. The downside, is that once a problem is deemed “solved” to Sorey, he spends zero brain cycles on it anymore, and simply accepts it for what it is unquestioningly. He’s moving on to something else.

Sorey is very good at multitasking, often the only thing dragging Mikleo out of laser focus tunnel vision, and makes sure the slimmer boy doesn’t forget to eat or drink. Sorey also does all the housework at home except cooking: closing all the cupboard doors Mikleo forgets, magically refilling the fridge and dressers, and washing all the dishes that no longer exist for Mikleo the moment he’s done cooking or eating. 

Mikleo and Sorey are very good at making up for each others’ defects, so he’s not so sure how they will both fare soon, when Mikleo leaves. Growing up together, they’ve naturally split up tasks in so many ways they’re utterly dependent upon one another in perfect symbiosis. Mikleo’s confidence in the outside world doesn’t stretch into his private life. 

Sorey’s thoughtless actions can wound Mikleo grievously. Or inaction: Sorey's lack of brain cycles spent analyzing their over comfortable relationship is causing Mikleo immense pain. Mikleo also suffers because he knows Sorey can easily be manipulated into a relationship with him, and precisely because of that ease, he cannot. It would be meaningless unless Sorey truly feels the same in return. So his usual tool chest for dealing with people simply doesn't work here. Sorey’s pure faith in their comfortable friendship is itself the impenetrable wall. 

Although Mikleo may not believe it, because his thoughts for Sorey often turn a certain shade, Mikleo actually has extremely pure expectations for a relationship with Sorey. He longs for an innocent accidental brushing of hands, a shy blush over implied affections, a timid glance over a shared straw, and other puppy love rot like that. He is drowning in anguish because his non-relationship with Sorey seems all messed up and full of sex already and there's no way to back track. 

Mikleo stands tall with his head held high in the outside world. But back at home, his love for Sorey makes him feel very alone, very small, very dirty, and very unlovely. 

Mikleo is graduating high school. It’s time he graduates from his unrequited love as well.


	10. June - Time To Say Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Mikleo makes up his mind to experience physical intimacy with Sorey one last time.

Usually, Mikleo puts up with a bit more of a mock fight before resigning his body to Sorey’s needs. By now, Sorey knows every curve, every inch, every sensitive spot of Mikleo’s small frame. He knows that although Mikleo doesn’t like to receive oral sex, and would quickly squirm out of the way whenever he offers, Mikleo would often switch around to pleasure Sorey instead. Sorey knows his sighs, his adorable little grunts, and his look upon release. But Sorey is mistaken about why tonight is special to Mikleo. 

Mikleo has his arms around Sorey’s neck, pressing their bodies as closely together as his graduation day outfit will allow. Sorey’s hands slip inside Mikleo’s silk dress shirt, and run up and down Mikleo’s backside, from his gently sloping shoulders, down along his spine where he can almost feel his ribs, around the small of his back where he’s so ticklish, then down into his pants to give his cute bum gentle squeezes, then back up again. The shirt is totally in the way. Sorey unbuttons the pleated white dress shirt with subtle embroidery accents, and continues feeling Mikleo all over with his hands. Mikleo leans into Sorey's touch, and closes his eyes to memorize this sensation. 

Soon, Sorey’s body heats up even more, and needs much more than this. He kicks off all this clothes onto the ground unceremoniously, reaches for Mikleo’s right hand and places it around his erection, looking at Mikleo with pleading eyes. Mikleo smirks and deigns to help him with a practiced, steady pace and allows Sorey to do the same for him. With a gentleness that he does not reserve for himself, Sorey unfastens Mikleo's trouser's buttons. (Who wears button fly dress pants? Sorey ponders not for the first time.) But they give him more time to be as slow as he likes with Mikleo's pants. Mikleo lifts his hips, Sorey pulls them down, folds them, and lay them on the floor by the bed. Mikleo's already got his undergarments off by the time Sorey came back to bed.

Sorey nuzzles into the crook of Mikleo’s neck, and inhales deeply. Mikleo puts his nose into Sorey’s wild brown locks and does the same, nibbling his ear with feathery touches. Sorey always smells a little bit like salted skin after a day out in the sun, even when freshly showered. In a good way, he guesses. He's just so used to it in his mind he doesn't categorize it as "sweaty" or even good or bad. It's just the smell of Sorey. 

Their hands work in synchronicity, now slowing down together, now picking up the pace together. Drops of precum appear on Sorey's glans and Mikleo works it into his motions with a gliding twist that Sorey likes so much. Sorey finds the same on Mikleo's cock and he sweeps his index finger across the tip, gathering it up. Then he changes hands momentarily as he brings the sweet drop to his lips. Mikleo reaches for that hand with his free one, and puts Sorey's now moistened index finger in between his own lips, suckling gently and suggestively while staring deeply into Sorey's green eyes. 

He’s going to miss this. With that thought, his eyes begin to tear up, so he opens his lavender coloured eyes even wider in an attempt to blink them back, hoping Sorey doesn't notice. Sorey doesn’t notice; he notices instead that tonight Mikleo is more welcome of his touch than usual, without the usual pretense of shyness mixed into his haughty consent. Sorey decides to test his hypothesis, and traces a trail of tiny licks down Mikleo’s body. Mikleo doesn’t offer to switch, and with deep sighs that border on moans, accepts Sorey’s modest proposal to please him with his lips. 

Sorey takes his time, greeting each part of the descent that leads him to his destination. He arrives at Mikleo’s erect penis, and marvels at it a while. “Proud and elegant, like you” he says without blushing, and Mikleo fondly smacks the top of Sorey's head for sprouting nonsense. He kisses the inside of each perfect thigh, now licking it and now gently sucking to see it flash with colour. They're impossibly smooth and soft, unlike Sorey's own skin which is always a little dry and far too masculine. Suddenly, Sorey puts as much of Mikleo’s erection into his mouth as he could, and is rewarded with a moaning sigh. 

“That feels really good, Sorey.” 

A slick popping sound as Sorey slides off, and pretends to headbutt Mikleo's belly button. “A compliment, even. Hmmm” he mutters into Mikleo's now taunt abdomen, threatening to give him a raspberry right then. But he continues with sucking Mikleo's cock instead. Mikleo slides all his fingers into Sorey's hair to massage his scalp as well as to hold him in place. He gently lifts his hips to enjoy the sensations even more, and Sorey cups each buttock with a large, warm hand. When Mikleo felt ready, Sorey reaches down with one hand to play with his own neglected penis a bit. Mikleo takes one hand off Sorey's head and motions for Sorey to glide his lips up a bit so he can supply his own urgent pumps because Sorey was now too slow for his taste. At that, Sorey begins to work on himself with way more force and roughness than he ever uses on Mikleo, his tongue still lapping and licking Mikleo's tip furiously.

He’s close now, but he’s waiting for Mikleo first. Mikleo arches his back and orgasms, thrusting all the way into Sorey's warm open mouth, his breathing ragged as if he’s run a mile, letting out a satisfied sigh before melting into a puddle. Sorey just barely avoid gagging a little, but he doesn't mind because he's losing his mind watching Mikleo come with such satisfaction. Sorey swallows, then orgasms with a throaty roar and collapses on top of Mikleo. 

Sorey gets up off the bed first to let Mikleo recover a bit longer. He brings a warm moistened cloth back from their shared jack and jill bathroom, and tenderly restores Mikleo to his glorious pristine condition. Sorey worships this body: skin perfectly smooth like milky satin, a delicate frame that’s stronger than appearances suggest, eyes and cheekbones so pretty, just looking at him makes him feel warm everywhere. Mikleo allows himself to enjoy the pampering a little longer. Sorey drinks in Mikleo’s beauty at leisure, marveling anew how someone so perfect could exist. 

\---

When Mikleo is sure that he’s ready to leave, he slowly gets dressed again, and gets ready to walk through their shared bathroom back to his own bedroom. Sorey tugs on his arm, pulling him back down, stumblling into spooning position. 

“Stay. I’m sleepy.” He says, still completely naked.

“Goodnight Sorey, I’ve got things to do tonight. I’ve stayed too often already.”

“No, no you don’t. Not recently anyway. You’re always slipping away from me once I fall asleep.” He whines in his puppy way, and despite himself Mikleo smiles warmly. Sorey can feel Mikleo smiling even though he can’t actually see from the back, and relaxes his hold. 

Mikleo takes the opportunity to shrug Sorey’s arms off, gets up, and walks back to his bedroom. “I’m serious, I need to go back to my side.” He hesitated a moment. “I need to get packing.” 

“What packing? For the grad trip to Italy with Lailah? I thought you were waiting till I graduate next year?” Sorey calls from his bed. 

“It’s in my best interest to go this year, before my first year courses. I might have co-op next year.”

“But you’ll be gone all summer! And when you come back you’re moving into the dorm!” This is alarming and distressing news. Sorey gets up and follows Mikleo into his bedroom.

\----

Mikleo had wanted to hold it together. He didn’t want to fall apart like this in front of Sorey. The plan was to collect as many happy memories as possible before leaving for Italy, and therefore this home, forever. 

But lately, the emptiness inside Mikleo has grown and grown. Even though he loves spending time with Sorey, that comfort only manages to ward off the gnawing sadness when Sorey is within sight. Tonight, as he walked away from Sorey’s bed, Mikleo thought about how this will be the last time, and that there’s no turning back after this separation. 

Mikleo and Sorey had never been separated for extended periods of time since birth. Because of the tragic circumstance, everyone unconsciously doted on the two of them. They grew up with Sorey always in the lead and Mikleo happily filling in as side kick. At least, it was like that until it was no longer enough for Mikleo. 

Since childhood, Sorey’s needs have always been simple, mostly physical, and always direct. He has a hearty appetite, loves to reach out and enthusiastically, touch or eat or play with or hug his favourite things. Mostly, it’s Mikleo. 

Mikleo understands very well that Sorey doesn’t have a single bad bone in him. They do these kinds of things together because it simply felt good, and because he loves Mikleo in a non-romantic way, and that was good enough for Sorey. 

But it isn’t enough for Mikleo. Mikleo compares Sorey’s affection to the sun, not for the first time: available to all freely and perpetually. It isn’t possessive, or jealous, or exclusive, or selective. Mikleo is sure that this coming year, with Sorey left by himself in high school, he will fall in love with someone. He’s been keeping tabs on how many have a crush on him. It’s inevitable. 

Mikleo loves Sorey too, but his kind of love is like the moon: delicate, moodily changing to different phases from time to time, and there’s a dark side that is invisible to everyone. Mikleo loves Sorey with a much more possessive love. Sometimes he would go into Sorey’s room and quietly take inventory of what Sorey does with his space and things. He likes picking new songs to play in the background while they study, then sneaking them into Sorey’s playlist, a kind of petty brainwashing just for his own amusement. He gets out in the middle of class and walk by Sorey’s classroom to sneak peeks at him. Sometimes he would come into Sorey’s bedroom when he’s sound asleep, and give him secret kisses. 

If Sorey kept secret diaries, Mikleo would be the type to invade his privacy and read it obsessively. Actually, Sorey keeps a blog diary that all their friends read and comment on. Mikleo secretly wishes it was only for him to read. It hurts when Sorey goes on dates with girls and writes about it so casually. Sorey doesn’t care if they are dates or not, but they are clearly dates because Mikleo set them up for the girls who ask him for help.

Mikleo doesn’t have a secret diary. But in his mind he has a whole collection of steamy fantasies featuring Sorey.

Mikleo is romantically in love with Sorey; the fantasies serve as an outlet for pent up longings. He longs for the little gestures like walking hand in hand, or buying loveseat theatre tickets, or picking out an outfit obsessively before a date. He wants to be kissed passionately. He wants Sorey to surprise him with flowers and sweep him off his feet. He wants to spend valentine’s day with a lover, not a roommate with benefits. 

To Mikleo, Sorey’s sexual appetite is like the rest of his passions: purely physical and doesn’t really matter who. He could be doing this with any boy or girl next year, when Mikleo is gone. That’s why he had been preparing bit by bit to let go of his own feelings, and to distance himself. He had hoped for years that Sorey would come to see him romantically, but the only major “progress” since childhood that clearly cross past the friendship line, had been physical intimacy. Mikleo hungers for Sorey, so he welcomes his embraces and relishes them for days. But with each non-romantic tryst, it becomes more and more apparent that physical closeness is no substitute for romance. Having grown disillusioned and so very tired of waiting, Mikleo decides that he’s a grown man now, and will try his best to move on with life, leaving his childish fantasies for Sorey behind. 

\----

“Look, Sorey, I’m just sick of everything okay? I’m tired of all this and I need to get out of here.” Mikleo said this with a little more hurt packed in than he should. He’s been hurting for a while now, and he wanted to see Sorey hurt a little, too.

“You mean you’re tired of being with me? If you don’t like me why didn’t say anything? Or do you mean you’re sick of me doing this kind of stuff with you? I can stop. If you don’t want me to touch you why didn’t you tell me?”

“What am I supposed to say? I have a headache tonight?” mockery dripping off his voice, Mikleo throws a straight jab he knows Sorey can block easily. He continues punching into Sorey’s ready palms with every sentence. "I don’t feel that way about you? Let’s see other people? Let’s break up? I fell in love with someone else? We’re not a couple! My life doesn’t revolve around you, Sorey! I have my own life, and my own needs too!”

“No, no, that’s not what I meant…” he looks wounded by the words far worse than the punches, and Mikleo felt only slightly guilty. Sorey isn’t too proud to beg, and he’s begging now, hands wrapped around both of Mikleo's fists. “Of course you have your own life and needs, Mikleo….what do you need, Mikleo? Please, tell me what you need….Whatever you--”

“How do I tell you what I need, Sorey? you tell me! How do I push you off of me without you looking like a kicked puppy? How do I date anyone else when we’re already together every single moment of our lives? I tried, Sorey! I. Bloody. Frelling. Tried! And I’m tired of---” Mikleo’s voice cracking, dropping down into whisper volume, covering his face, crumpling into a heap onto his own bed. “I’m just really, really tired, Sorey. I’m so tired…”

Sorey wrapped his arms about Mikleo as best he could. Mikleo does his best to muffle his sobs into his bed, stiffening under Sorey’s touch which is completely failing at comforting him. Sorey lets go of Mikleo so he can continue to cry alone without him making it worse. He’s messed up really big somehow and he isn’t sure how. Sorey pulls the feather duvet over Mikleo’s perfect body, his own heart bleeding in a way he’s never felt before. Mikleo looks so sad, and it’s his fault. How had they gotten to this point?

Sorey sits next to Mikleo for the next hour or so, without touching him again, until Mikleo falls asleep, exhausted from crying. He’s never felt more helpless and scared before in his life: he’s losing Mikleo. 

\----

 

“Lailah, did you know that Mikleo was coming to Italy with you?” Sorey called as he comes down from the stairs. His eyes are red, his hair is a complete wreck, and he's only got boxers on. There was a slight edge of anger in his voice, and a whole lot of hurt. 

“Come sit down on the sofa with me, Sorey.” Lailah had seen this coming for years, but she held her tongue for so long for the boys’ benefit. They are good boys, she was sure they would find their way even if she offered no help. But looking at Mikleo’s slow descent over the last few months and now Sorey’s brokenness, she wonders if she did enough.

“Did you know?” Sorey is at a loss on where to start. "Why?" He’s not even sure if he’s asking Lailah why she didn’t tell him, or why this is happening at all. 

“I did not know Mikleo made up his mind. Back in January, he asked me to book a flexible air fare ticket, even though it cost twice as much.” Lailah linked her right arm in Sorey’s left, and continues to fiddle with an origami rose while they talked, ”I don’t think he knew for sure either, Sorey. But it looks like he’s made up his mind now.” 

She waited patiently for Sorey to put it in his own words.

“He’s leaving me, Lailah.” 

“Sorey, I'm going to ask you some questions that you should think deeply about. Oh but please don't tell me details,” she added with a hurry, both hands pretending to hold her flushing cheeks, “because I'm far too old and you're far too young…looking at the two of you makes me want to brush up on Romeo and Juliet laws.... But I believe in your ability to find your own answer. You're an adult now, you can do this.”

“I’m just...totally confused. I thought everything was great between us. But he says he’s been hurting for a long time. I feel so awful. How did I not notice?”

Deep breath, Lailah. He’s a big dope and he’s going to need more explicit details.

“Think back to when you and Mikleo first crossed that line, physically. It doesn't matter where society thinks the line is: what matters is to identify the moment you are aware that you've crossed that line. Was Mikleo aware of it? Did Mikleo understand the implications of physical intimacy? How did he respond to you?” 

Silent reflection.

“Answer me this: did you feel like he participated as your equal?”

It was like Lailah had stabbed Sorey in his heart with a fiery blade. 

Sorey had known that it was his idea. It always was. And not just when it came to physical lust either. Sorey craves, so Sorey reaches to take, and Mikleo submits and gives. That had been the pattern in every interaction they had had since he could remember, whether it was picking board games or picking dinner or picking courses. Mikleo yields to Sorey, automatically, without questions, like a river yielding to each bend in its course. Sorey had been telling himself that it's alright, because Mikleo feels good too, and because he is so, so gentle with Mikleo. He would never push Mikleo to do something he didn't want to do, or something that would hurt him. 

But to answer Lailah's question, no, no he did not respond to Sorey's touch as his equal that first time. Nor has he since before tonight. Mikleo doesn't look at Sorey with the same hunger, doesn't ache with the same need, and doesn't press on with the same urgency for release. Mikleo's body feels nice, Sorey thinks. But Mikleo’s pleasure was mainly derived from giving Sorey pleasure, instead of his own. He was like a sheep who follows a shepherd, and not as a friend and equal by his side.

Sorey closes his eyes in anguish and shame, his fists clenched tightly upon his knees, and his whole body tense. 

“What must I do? How can I….how can I make it the same? I've been….so selfish.” Sorey feels his voice shaking. “I've _defiled_ him.”

“Sorey, it wasn't your fault. You were young and you had no idea. I should have been there for you two more. But, what's done is done. It's important to remember that Mikleo has always consented to your um, needs. Mikleo isn't suffering because of your touch. He’s suffering because he loves you, romantically.” Lailah said, being gentle as always. “If you want to reciprocate his feelings, perhaps you should start over in a more conventional way. The two of you were brought up under unusual circumstances that did not facilitate establishing clear boundaries. It's no wonder your relationship with each other is so confusing and out of the usual order. More importantly, blaming yourself won't bring you closer to each other.”

Lailah waits patiently until Sorey regains some composure before continuing. 

“Normally, two people meet as strangers. They might immediately feel a small connection, or it might take a while. There's usually a phase where they slowly get to know each other and become friends. As friends, they might start to spend more time together, and start to pull away from their other friends to find time exclusively for each other. If they feel romantic attraction, it could be a long, slow process where it's a little confusing and the lines of friendship might start to blur. Usually there's some tension at this stage. Does he like me back? What if I lose this friendship if I'm discovered and he doesn't feel the same? Then at some point one person takes a step to make his feelings known. And the other person has a chance to sort out his own feelings, and has the choice to reciprocate or not.” Lailah takes a breath before continuing. “Even if the spark is immediately palpable, there's still a mutual agreement first to go further, as equals, before the relationship begins. Usually, it’s well after this point that the physical aspect begins. Sorey, you and Mikleo seem to have passed by all the preliminary stages of courtship, and that’s why Mikleo is suffering.”

“So….if I ask him to be my boyfriend, and stay, would that work?” Sorey sounds tired. He already knew the answer to this question, but he’s grasping at straws for hope at this point. Lailah simply waits for Sorey to finish his own thought. “Mikleo would not like it if I only pretended to be in love with him so he stays with me. It wouldn’t be fair to him. He deserves someone who loves him back that way. He deserves someone pure who would patiently go at his pace…”

Lailah takes another minute to make sure Sorey moves forward with constructive thoughts instead of useless self pity, then she has to leave for work. 

\----

When Mikleo woke up, it was 3am, and Sorey was sitting in a chair some distance from the bed, waiting to talk. He's still only wearing his boxers. In spite of everything, Mikleo looks at his delicious body greedily.

They give each other an awkward smile. Sorey stands up, walks over, reaches out for a wrist bump, that Mikleo gladly gives, scooting closer to sit at the end of his bed. Then Sorey sits back down on the chair, giving his friend respectful distance. They’re still friends, whatever happened and whatever may come. Mikleo trusts Sorey isn’t here to rub salt in his wounds, and he trusts that whatever he says, even if it ends up hurting, will be honest truth. 

After a long minute of staring into each other’s eyes, Sorey begins. “Lailah helped me figured out that you’re in love with me. I’m so sorry I didn’t realise.” He pauses, but decides Mikleo deserves the honest truth. “I’m not sure how I feel because I’ve never thought about it.”

"And I'm sorry I lashed out at you. I knew you had no idea. I knew it was all in my head." Mikleo has had time to reflect on his selfishness as well.

Even though he knew, it was still a blow to Mikleo to hear from Sorey’s own lips that he's never thought about them romantically. Mikleo bites his lips and does his best not to cry again.

“You deserve someone great, Mikleo. You’re beautiful and smart and good and radiant. I’m not going to lie just so I can have you all to myself. You deserve someone pure and chaste like you.“ 

Mikleo raises his eyebrows slightly when Sorey said “radiant”. That Sorey really can sprout stuff like that so casually and shamelessly is proof of his own purity. As for “pure and chaste”, Sorey clearly has no idea what Mikleo’s thoughts have been like, since forever ago. 

“We're grown up men now, Sorey. I need to start living for myself, and find someone I love who loves me back, and to spend the rest of my life with. You're my best friend, and you're more important to me than I know is good for me. But.” Mikleo pauses, looking for the right way to say it. He hangs his head, sighs deeply, and continues in a whisper. “But our relationship is weird.” 

Sorey slumps further into the chair. He knows too. There's something slightly shameful about what their living arrangements are like, even though it has always felt so right. So comfortable that it should have felt scandalous. It had been his own private piece of heaven for so long that he had repressed all nagging thoughts about the impropriety of it all. Nobody understands, he rationalised. Nobody has what we have. 

So Lailah was right, Sorey thought. Mikleo had been pushed by Sorey into too much sex too soon, and now he's leaving. Forever. And it's all his fault. Sorey has no idea what to do, but there's one last thing he could try. He gets off the chair, literally crawls on his knees to the bed, and kneels in front of Mikleo, with his forehead on Mikleo's knees, a supplicating worshiper. 

“Give me one more chance. Please, Mikleo I'm begging you….please don't leave me. I'm not a proud man, you know, you've seen me grovel at your feet enough times for this to be probably ineffective by now…but I don't know what else to do…You don't have to leave. I’ll leave you alone from now on... I'll help you find a date…I’d do anything for you.” Sorey’s voice is breaking. Mikleo can feel tears soaking into his lap. “I don't know what to do without you….”

Sorey was clearly miserable. Edna had jokes that this boy would throw himself on a grenade for Meebo, and she was right. This wasn't the kind of grandeur confession he had daydreamed about. Mikleo had fantasised many times about Sorey suddenly awakening to his feelings, and rushes into the classroom, picks Mikleo up princess style, carry him off to the car's backseat and…. Or Mikleo trying unsuccessfully to leave a bad date, and an unexpectedly jealous Sorey rushes in to punch the bully in the face, then says something about not laying a finger on “my Mikleo”, then picking him up bridal style towards the backseat of his car...Etc etc etc. 

But that's not his real Sorey. His Sorey is big and strong and very dreamy, yes. But his Sorey is also innocent and pure like a water lily, and a big dopey giant lump of putty in Mikleo's hands. Without Mikleo giving hints and pulling the strings, he's pathetically hopeless when it comes to this kind of stuff. 

Months of hinting, pulling strings with alluring rewards, and attempts at Pavlovian conditioning has only resulted in Mikleo punishing himself. Mikleo sighs and accepts responsibility for his own misery. He's going to also accept responsibility for reducing Sorey to a red eyed, lip quivering mess on his knees. 

Mikleo takes a deep breath, slides his knees out from under Sorey, and stands up on the bed to look even taller and higher up. He folds his arms, tips his chin up with a smirk, and announces the following edict to his faithful worshiper. 

“You will be my long distance secret admirer for three months. Depending on performance, you could be allowed to continue as boyfriend, or demoted back down to best friend” he pauses for dramatic effect, holding out a flat open palm like a stop sign “------without further benefi--” Mikleo was enjoying his chance to be haughty and rub in this victory as much as possible. But he didn't count on the fact that as soon as the word “benefits” left his lips, it sounded so much naughtier out loud than in his head. His mind flitted across their intimate history. If that was before they were officially dating, what pleasures could await them soon? The unbelievable embarrassment made him blush crimson and choke on the word. He pretends to cough instead, poorly. Nice save, Mikleo, even Sorey noticed that. 

Sorey looks up, incredulous, his heart swells with a foreign feeling at Mikleo's embarrassment over simply alluding to their physical intimacy. Did he hear Mikleo right that he wanted Sorey to be boyfriend in three months?!?!?!?! That's fantastic!! He thought he was being placed in an old cardboard box and kicked to the curb. Instead, Mikleo has created out of nowhere the sudden desire for Sorey to be Mikleo's boyfriend! Mikleo will be his boyfriend!! Somehow he's always vaguely thought his idol will happen across some demigod and make him his boyfriend. This is all very confusing in a new exciting way.

Suddenly he realises with a slight horror that he's been frozen in thought, and hasn't snapped at the chance yet. “YES YES YES A THOUSAND YES!” Sorey jumps up off his knees, flies up onto the bed, and embraces Mikleo tightly. They tumble down onto the mattress with Mikleo on top, and Sorey nestled in Mikleo’s neck. 

It was yet again evident from Sorey's expression that he's never thought about being Mikleo's boyfriend before. The previous months’ effort had been a total waste because he'd been singing to a rock. Le sigh. He deserved that. Mikleo ruffles Sorey’s hair affectionately with his only free arm. Victory is sweet. 

“Sorey, I’m serious though. I really want a proper relationship with you, one way or the other. If you find you love me that way, too, then great. If you don’t, I’ve been preparing myself, and I will be okay. I just need to establish some boundaries. Despite being Innocence Incarnate, you’re not very good at being chaste.” Indulgent smile from Mikleo, and guilty ear to ear grin from Sorey. “But please try, for my sake, okay?”

“I will try. I’m going to research it right away.”

“It’s not academic research, dummy." Fond chuckle and a pat on Sorey's scruffy head. "But I think even you can manage being secret admirer. Heaven knows you’ve broken enough of their hearts.”

“I love you, Mikleo. I’m going to try my best to fall in love with you for realsies. I’m going to romance the fuck out of you, you just watch.”

“Sorey, ‘Chaste’ means you don’t grind your erection into your crush.”

“Oh. Sorry…” Sorey says sheepishly, one hand behind his head in a gesture so familiar to Mikleo.

Outside their window, the very beginning of a new day dawning makes the sky appear the same shade of purple as Mikleo's eyes, above the green of treetops like Sorey's. It's time to say goodbye, and everything will change from today on. But they are going to be just fine.


End file.
